1.1 FROM THE BELOW
1.1.1 The Starting-from-Scratch mode
It's true, when people said you have to know the meaning of failure, you have to understand why are you bleeding when you fall, and to know how to get up and just brace yourselves for the upcoming challenges. It is true; enough said. Let's start from here, when you're in the middle of some place out of nowhere, and wants to be the best just because of who you are, you're screwed. So screwed. I learnt lots of lesson when I was studying in Cyberjaya. I put the blame unto no one, because I wanted to leave. I wanted to leave because I know if I stay any longer, I wouldn't be tough and strong like how I am now. (I'm not saying I am tough and strong like 30 years old of experience, but I'm above my previous level; which is a good thing.)
It was....so so chaos when I said to my mum, I'm not longer wanted to presume my studies as a teacher or as a tutor for kids. She was shocked, obviously, but at the same time she knew I was not happy. Emotionally, and physically. I was too stressed up to a point where I was talking to Bambam, (my car), which I knew, this is so sick.
We went to the office and discuss over my personal stuff where, I'm no longer be able to continue my studies there. As the favorite students in alumni and Vice President, they were not happy about it. They tried their hardest and desperate to let me stay.
I've got lots of things going on in my mind, like for instance to get 4 flat in first semester or stuff like that. I was quite active in the class on asking questions and answering them but... why would I want to stay if people are happy to see me go?
It was quite sad, and astonished at the same time. I have no idea how to say it but... you know.
Alhamdulillah, I got an offer to Management and Science University (MSU) to further my study in Diploma Culinary Arts for 2 years and a half. It is my dream to pursue my studies in what I love of what I want and how I want it to be present.
1.2 THE BEGINNING
1.2.1 It all started as I am a piece of white paper, and starting to get myself colored with rainbows, sun shines, rains, thunders, happiness, sadness, and so many stuff. It's hard to explain this experience I'm having, but as what I can say the decision to change about studies can affect your lifetime experiences. I'm having new friends, I'm deeply in-love with the course, and I'm learning...
Yes, I'm learning.
1.2.1 To get everything come to an end is not easy. The consequences in handling myself was the most challenging moment I've ever had. I used to stand trembling, and likely in a minute to fall. Now I know, the more knowledge you know, the more you share to people around you. The deeper you know the meaning of life, the faster your progression into be someone better.
Be the best to you, not the eye of others.
Be the interesting person to you, not for other person.
Because people going to go on living once you're out of this world, rotten under the ground.
Nobody stay, except yourself.
So be proud for who you are, and what you want to be.
Trusting yourself is not an issue, but to get up once you've fallen and the trust in yourself destroys, is what really matters.
Aliah Dini